Our winter has been just as busy as any other time in our lives. We enjoyed our Christmas visit with Elizabeth, Zak, and baby Lucy, and will miss her dearly in the coming months… but that is the road we have all chosen. Just as they could never leave Kentucky, we could never leave Colorado. Home is home.

The new semester has begun, and we’ve enjoyed some beautiful outings and adventures. Mythili, Isabella, sixteen other Girl Scouts, and seven other parents joined me in mid-January for Girl Scout troop camping just outside of Estes Park. WE watched movies (that MacBook and LCD projector come in handy!), sewed, made crafts, sang songs, snowshoed and sledded, and had an amazing weekend without a tear in sight!

Snow has been lingering in and out since the first of January, somewhat hindering my bicycle commuting. Fortunately, my dad gave me his trainer so I can ride in the family room. I’ve been trying to ride at least fourteen miles a day and take longer rides on the weekends in preparation for the Iron Horse Bicycle Classic that I will participate in on Memorial Day weekend with a co-worker. If you’re too busy to look at the web site, it is a race against the Durango-Silverton train, with an elevation gain of 5600 feet (we’re climbing a mountain!!), that is fifty miles long. Should be a challenge! I’ve been trying to put the trainer on the highest resistance for at least half the time I’m riding. Going from that to the bike is like putting on wings, enabling me to ride the Vittetoe Express all the way to the zoo and back last Saturday with all three girls (thirty miles). More about that here.

Meanwhile, both Isabella and Mythili are taking ballet class after school once a week, and Riona has begun gymnastics (finally). She just learned how to complete a forward roll, and has been endlessly showing us, she is so proud! Now, of course, Isabella and Mythili want to take gymnastics again, so we have reluctantly agreed to sign them up for the spring course.

The last bit of business is selling Girl Scout cookies, which is quite another job within itself. Perhaps I should have been an accountant! Keeping up with all the orders and money is time-consuming, but just thinking about all the fun ways our troop will spend it (we’re already planning a unit camp in July) makes it worthwhile. Both girls sold 75 boxes this year, and they have already written thank-you cards for all their customers. I’m so proud of their commitment to Girl Scouts! It’s such a great organization, and I hope they stick with it all the way through high school.

Riona is hard at work breaking the candy.

For the past couple of years I have been making the old-fashioned candy my mom always made during my childhood. It was always a tradition I loved, so I decided to make it a tradition for our family. I started early this year so I would have enough time to make it all before Christmas. The house has been full of a mixture of aromas including licorice, cinnamon, and spearmint. Riona loves to help me break the candy into the little pieces once it has cooled and hardened. All the girls love the candy and a day doesn’t go by without them begging for another piece. We can’t wait to hand out the little goodie bags full of candy as presents this year. If you get one we hope you enjoy it. The recipe I use is below, so you can make some for yourself.

ingredients:

2 cups granulated sugar
1/2 cup light corn syrup
1/2 cup water
1 dram LorAnn flavoring oil* (1 dram is approximately 1 teaspoon)
Liquid food coloring
Powdered sugar
Candy thermometer
Aluminum foil

Directions:

1. The first thing I do is get my aluminum foil pan ready. The foil I use is the Reynolds Wrap Easy Release Non-Stick. If you don’t have that you may want to lightly grease the pan to prevent the candy from sticking. I use about a 12 inch by 12 inch piece of foil. Fold up the sides of the foil to make four walls. This should make a simple pan that is about 10 inch by 10 inch or so.
2. Next, in a mid to large sauce pan mix together the sugar, corn syrup, and water. Make sure all the sugar is wet before heating. I heat the mixture on high but medium high may work as well. Bring the sugar mixture to a boil without stirring and insert the candy thermometer. Continue to cook the mixture until the soft crack temperature or about 275 degrees and then add the color. No need to stir, the boiling action will incorporate the color. I use 4 to 8 drops of food color, depending on how dark or light or the mixture of colors needed. Experiment! Once the candy mixture has reached the hard crack temperature or about 300 degrees, remove the mixture from the heat and add the liquid flavoring oil. Stir. Use caution when stirring in the flavoring as steam may rise from the mixture.
3. Now pour the candy mixture into your foil pan making sure it is evenly distributed. When the candy begins to harden but still somewhat soft, fold down the foil walls and score crisscrossed lines to form small candy squares. I use a pizza cutter to do this. This will make for easy breaking when the candy is cooled. Wait till the candy is completely cooled and carefully break the candy squares apart. I dust my hands with powdered sugar to do the breaking and then dust the finished candy with powder sugar to prevent sticking.
4. Enjoy the intense aromas that will fill your home after making this candy!

I owe credit for this recipe to my mama, who taught it to me and has reminded me of various details over the years. Thank you mama!

* The LorAnn flavoring oils can be found on their website or at a local candy/cake supply store.

With our special-order Sun Prairie Grass-Fed Beef, we prepared two delicious pot roasts, using two different recipes, and homemade pumpkin pie with the last of our garden pumpkin for our Christmas Eve meal. Everyone ate it up, even picky little Riona! We then opened our presents and watched as the girls squealed over every little item. The best was when Mythili and Isabella opened their iPod with an amazed expression and Isabella said, “I’ve wanted an iPod my whole life!” which is probably, sadly, true.

The next morning, Santa brought Isabella a Barbie scooter, Mythili yet another Barbie set with formal wear for Ken and Barbie, and Riona a new train set to add on to the one we already have that she cherishes so much. The girls just LOVED their Santa presents–he somehow knew exactly what to get them! Truly magical!

We went to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for dinner, the best Christmas dinner ever–prime rib that Dad gets for free every year from his job. As usual, it was mouthwatering, and just writing about it now makes me already look forward to next year.

By the weekend, everyone was gone, and I felt like I was running a bed and breakfast, washing a million sheets–again–and cleaning up holiday remnants. After a couple of days of recovery, we celebrated Dad’s birthday with snowshoeing and cross country skiing in the mountains, then came back into town to celebrate New Year’s Eve with the Mentzers. We partied hard to bring in the new year, and the kids, as usual, had a total blast.

And here we are, MLK day, year two of us participating in the Denver Marade. I’ll say it again–I loved it last year and I loved it again. It makes this day so much more meaningful. But if you’d like to read more about what the Marade is like, check out my new writing blog: Step Write Up.

So, that is what I’ve been busy doing, in addition to working full time, running the Girl Scout troop, selling cookies, and spending quality time with three little girls every day… life is good.

http://www.flickr.com/apps/slideshow/show.swf?v=63961

Instead, they become thrilled with each unwrapped present. Mythili squeals with delight when she sees that Nanny sent her her favorite toy, a new set of Polly Pockets. Isabella proudly hands out presents to everyone because she “can read now, Mama!” Riona is amazed each time she discovers that more than one present is under the tree. And while the adults are busy enjoying their after-dinner wine and cleaning the kitchen, the kids relish the freedom of indirect supervision. I allow them to watch the movies they got this year–Tinker Bell, Wall-E, Garfield–and they basque in my TV-leniency. They are all thrilled to receive new games that of course they want me to play with them–a household scavenger hunt from Aunt Willow, a LeapPad card game from Nanny. They proudly adorn themselves with the new outfits and hair things from Grandma and Aunt Elizabeth. They get to stay up late, sleep in, and have a real vacation.

Our Christmas this year has been a bit crazy. While Elizabeth and Zak planned on coming around the 20th, Zak ironically had the same hernia surgery as Bruce, on the same day! So they had to delay their trip by a week. Meanwhile, Great Grandma was in town, and since Grandma and Grandpa were working, Bruce and I went up to Lafayette for a few days to take care of her during the day. Well, let me rephrase that. Bruce was still in a lot of pain and can’t lift anything over 10 pounds for 6 weeks, so it was more like me taking care of 4.5 kids (Great-Grandma counts as a full child, Bruce, in his complacent way, just as half ). I definitely have learned to appreciate everything that Bruce does for me, our kids, and our house!! After driving back and forth and carrying multiple gifts and luggage in and out, vacuuming two houses, and taking care of a gaggle of kids on my own, I’m missing my old Bruce. Only 4.5 weeks to go!

On Christmas Eve, we picked up Grandma from work, where she treated us all to lunch at LePeep. We walked around downtown for a while and then headed to our house, where Grandpa joined us, and we fixed homemade pizza. Then we opened our gifts from Mama and Daddy and Tennessee. The girls were exhausted by then and went to bed quietly, so when Santa came a short while later, they were sound asleep! Santa left a large easel for Isabella, a tabletop easel with dry erase and chalkboard for Mythili, and a rolling cart full of wood blocks for Riona. He also left some ornaments, cars, and hair things in the girls’ stockings. Then Grandpa, Grandma, and Great Grandma went home. Bruce and I barely woke up in time on Christmas morning to get the video camera ready to capture the girls’ reactions to their presents!

http://www.viddler.com/player/53591c23/

So Elizabeth and Zak finally arrived on Saturday, and we had a second Christmas/Dad’s birthday celebration in Lafayette on Sunday. No one was complaining! We all received some wonderful gifts, and just like the years we go to Tennessee, the girls got to have 2 Christmases! We spent the afternoon enjoying another round of the 20-pound prime rib that Grandpa got for a Christmas bonus, and then drove to see his office in Berthoud. Ironically, since this will likely be his last job, Berthoud is the town where he had one of his first jobs, and where my parents had their first house. Of course we drove by it as well, and the tree I cimbed when I was 3 was still in the front yard, as well as the wood stove my parents installed!

Yes, Christmas isn’t the same as it was when we were kids. We have to work, work, work in order to make it work for our kids and our family. But seeing the joy, the purely innocent joy, that fills my daughters’ faces as they anticipate and participate in this holiday, makes it all worthwhile. I gather their happiness bit by bit, happy that, now that it’s over, I have discovered my holiday mood. It lies within each of their smiles, giggles, and cheerful squeals. And it’s worth every bit of work.

Now I only catch glimpses of this. I try so hard. Too hard, maybe. Not that I expect the holiday season to be perfect. I don’t–I’m way too jaded for that. But I try to make it as stress-free and seamless as possible. I pride myself on having all cards sent and gifts bought and wrapped by December first, because the next few weekends in December are for baking, parties, and school events.

I choose my gifts carefully. I listen to what the kids want and I try to get them for them. This year, Bruce made homemade candy and we both worked our butts off baking about 20 loaves of pumpkin bread. I handed pretty packages of bread and candy out to every single person in the office at school and all the teams that my students are on, as well as Isabella’s and Mythili’s teachers.

We even made an advent calendar out of felt. We worked hours on this the weekend of Thanksgiving, hot gluing numbers, cutting out ornaments to fit in the pockets, one for each day to put on the tree. The girls have even been well-behaved enough to keep the candy canes inside until after dinner each night.

Isabella and I went caroling with several Girl Scout troops. I thought that would do it–cure me of my holiday blues. I remember doing this as a child in my little town in upstate New York. Everyone came to the door and clapped, praised us. But as we walked from house to house last Friday, people who had their houses decked out with more lights than I could ever imagine hanging actually turned us down. Some people wouldn’t even come to the door. I guess they didn’t want to take 1 minute away from their televisions to listen to 50 little girls sing to them. It just about broke me. But I wouldn’t give up.

We went to Mindi’s annual cookie party, and as usual, it was a hit. Great food, great music, perfect timing for a party (4p—???). The girls and I prepared all day, baking chocolate chip, chocolate revel bars, and their favorites, gingerbread cutouts. I swore it wouldn’t take all day, but it did. Chilling the dough. Mixing the frosting and then dividing it into different bowls for various colors. Setting up baggies with cake decorating portals (whatever they’re called) and allowing them to make their messes. They loved it. They said they wanted to do it every year. But I was a bit tired and overwhelmed. So much cleanup and work for mediocre cookies.

Isabella had her party at school today. Wild 5- and 6-year-olds running around everywhere. Cookies to decorate. Crafts to glue. Goody bags to sift through, candy canes to crunch. Her eyes filled with joy, but the parents’ job? Cleanup. I must have scrubbed those little tables 20 times before the first layer of scum came off onto the miniature sponges the teacher gave me. And she received 3 goody bags filled with useless items such as tissue-paper-thin miniature notebooks, chocolate Santas, erasers that don’t erase, and cheap pencils.

Is this supposed to put me in a holiday mood? I want to collect her joy, to take the twinkles out of Mythili’s eyes as she proudly holds up the candy cane she received from Santa (who visited her preschool), to gather the grin from Riona’s face as she tells me she wants a Christmas tree for Christmas… but I still have the reality of life hovering over me, the bills, the worry about overindulging my kids, the knowledge that everything comes with a price, whether it be in dollars or work.

Six days till Christmas. I’m going to make it. I’m going to remember my excitement from childhood Christmas mornings, waking so early that the stars still stung the sky with their winter brilliance. I’m going to look outside at the snow that has finally begun to trickle down and sing my Bing Crosby melody. I’m going to squeeze, squeeze, squeeze their tiny, thrilled bodies until their naivete seeps through their skin and into my heart. And I’m going to find my holiday mood.